What happened? What did I give into? I seemed to have played a game. Was I a specific target or just a random one for the day? I walked right into it. I know the consequences of my actions, atleast my own consequences. In the past I have been able to keep my will strong. I try to choose my responses carefully. My mind plays out the scenarios of each response. It has them down pretty good (yay mind!) Yet, somehow one response should have been controlled. Am I giving in because of the changes I want to make to myself?
I used to say things(anything)just to get reactions. I would try and learn from this. Now I am losing that feel, that reading, that slight understanding because I am not probing for reactions. It almost seem like I am the one being probed, tested, lead somewhere.
Then the moment ended. Not with a confrontation or a crescendo, just mearly an absence.
The unknown cause for silence brought about a concern. The origins of my feelings towards the one I was curious about. Even if I was a specific target or just a random one, I still have concern. That seems so weak. I care for her. I want her to be safe, respected, and loved.
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